yesterday

Yesterday was my 45th birthday.  I think that almost as hard as July 10th will be, yesterday was tough.  I really missed her.  For forty years we shared the same birthday.  And while we shared many other things, like our brother, our parents, a bedroom, a wedding dress,….sharing a birthday was something really special. 

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There were many years when Shannon and I got matching gifts.  When we each turned forty our parents gave us these charm bracelets.  I got mine five years ago, and she got hers last year.  Her last birthday.  She is still wearing hers, filled with charms from all of us.  Forever, the 40 on mine will now mean the forty years I was gifted with her presence. 

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I've been thinking about that…presents & presence.  I look at the many wonderful presents I received this birthday and I am ever more thankful for the presence of each giver, both nearby or long distance.

And then there was this….

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Literally dozens of buds are reaching straight up, toward the sun, toward heaven.  My plants from last July, with blooms ready to open….and one did.  My Mothers Day roses are thriving, spreading their optimism.  And roses arrived at my door too….

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Thanks for all the kind words and wishes.  xoxo

Comments

31 responses to “yesterday”

  1. kim mailhot Avatar

    Happy Birthday, Michelle ! Sounds like the universe and your special angel are making sure that the celebration of your life is a brilliant one, in spite of it being a hard one right now. So many roses, so many gifts for wonderful you !
    Congrats on the tattoo ! Can’t wait to see when it’s healed up !
    Take good care of you. Lots of squishy hugs !

  2. Carmen Torbus Avatar

    Happy Birthday Michelle. Sending loads of love and light your way. Can’t wait to see your ink.
    xo,
    Carmen

  3. Julie Prichard Avatar

    Happy happy birthday, Michelle!! Love, Julie 😉

  4. Kelly Avatar
    Kelly

    Happy Happy Birthday Michelle! I was thinking of you and Shannon yesterday. I hope the roses continue to make you smile.

  5. Danee Kaplan Avatar
    Danee Kaplan

    I lost my dad two years ago (he was 64) from Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis (he had a lung transplant) so I understand how it feels to lose somebody you love so dearly and I know that right now you are struck by how fast time has flown by since you lost Shannon and at the same time how slow it crept on. I am sure that your birthday was very difficult and in fact may have been more difficult than the anniversary of her death will be since the birthday was something you shared for 40 years and obviously was very speical to you. I am awed, inspired, and touched at your love for your sister and your ability to share it so honestly with your blog followers.

  6. Jennifer White Avatar

    No mistake why those roses are bursting with energy to bloom….
    xoxox

  7. Gilvania Jussara Avatar

    Happy Birthday, Michelle!!!!!

  8. julie thornton Avatar
    julie thornton

    Oh, Happy Birthday Michelle!
    I know its sad that your sister is not here with you to share your special day but you had a very special relationship and thats a great thing!
    I love your roses!

  9. Catalina Avatar

    Congratulations Michelle!!!!! you and your sister are so beautiful!
    presence is everything. In our hearts always.
    xoxo

  10. Seth Avatar

    Happy, happy birthday Michelle. Thinking of you both!!

  11. hedwig Avatar

    Happy birthday, Michelle!!!!!! Pain and joy can be so close, but you know that…. A tattoo has that both in it. Show it to us soon. XO
    Hedwig

  12. iHanna Avatar

    Happy belated birthday wishes from me! Your rose garden is amazing.

  13. Star Avatar
    Star

    Happy Birthday, Michelle. My brother and I share that same birthday bond (2 years apart). Can’t wait to see how your drawing turned out as a tattoo.

  14. Sandra L. Avatar

    Happy Birthday, Michelle! I will be 45 in July. Your photo of yourself and your sister in matching dresses reminds me so much of the matching dresses my mom made for me and my sis in 1975. I was 11 and she was 4. They had Holly Hobbie prints, and Mom made us matching prairie bonnets, because “Little House on the Prairie” was all the rage!
    I am thinking of getting a special tattoo for my birthday, and look forward to seeing yours.

  15. elizabeth woodford Avatar

    Happy Happy Birthday Michelle and Shannon! You know that she is with youand always will be!! I will be turning 50 on the last day of may and I am not looking forward to it, but I am no longer counting the numbers!!!!! the picture of you and Shannon in your flower power dresses is adorable and your bracelets and SISter Journal and Sign/symbol are wonderful. Can’t wait too see the tatoo!! hoep that it did not hurt too much!!!!
    Your roses are wonderful- can’t get enough of fragrant homegrown roses!!
    Big Birthday Hugs!!
    Fondly!
    Elizabeth

  16. Debra Abel Avatar

    Happiest Birthday Michelle! I am sure Shannon is celebrating with you. Your roses are so lovely. I am still waiting for my lilacs to bloom

  17. cindi Avatar
    cindi

    HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to you michelle!!!
    all the roses are just beautiful…
    i adore the pic of your sister and you in the dresses…
    and i srsly cannot wait to see the awesome tat…; D

  18. JeriAnn Avatar

    I am so happy to see those gorgeous roses bloom!
    I can hear how hard each milestone is for you, Michelle. Go slow, breathe in, breathe out, and know that we are here to lift you up. On every level, you are not alone.
    Birth Day blessings to you both.

  19. LIsa Hoffman Avatar

    Knocking over everything on my desk to lunge for the Kleenex box. You have to be the best sister in the Universe. Shannon may not be right here, but she’s clearly as close to your heart as ever.
    Happy Birthday Beauty!

  20. Brian Kasstle Avatar

    Happy Birthday Michelle! Wishing you the best.

  21. Megan Warren Avatar

    Thinking of you xxxx

  22. Sandrine alias Didine Avatar

    It’s better a little bit too late than never : Happy Birthday sweet Michelle ! Smooches from Belgium 😉

  23. Marlynn Avatar

    Happy Birthday! Yes, I am always sending belated birthday wishes!
    xoxo

  24. Marylinn Kelly Avatar
    Marylinn Kelly

    My mother and her youngest sister shared a birthday, too. I’m not sure I knew that you and Shannon did. Even though they were 12 years apart, by the time they were adults, the age difference had vanished and my sense is that the shared date compounded their bonds. Wishing you peace as these significant dates arrive.

  25. Jane Avatar

    Happy Birthday Michelle,
    I was very touched by your post. You have a lovely way of being sad and upbeat at the same time. I’m thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way.
    –Jane

  26. Stephanie Avatar

    Happy Birthday Michelle….your sister was a very special gift, wishing you peace.

  27. susanna Avatar

    Oh gosh, Michelle, I missed your birthday. Happy belated Birthday!
    I imagine that your sister looks down upon you with GREAT LOVE and adoration every day. And perhaps on your birthday, she showered you with secret birthday wishes, too.

  28. Chris Avatar

    Happy Birthday Michelle!! You are beautiful!
    xo
    C

  29. regina Avatar

    Sending you a late ((((HUG)))) for your birthday. (I’ve been away from blog land for several days.)
    The photo from 1972 reminds me of the clothes Mom would sew when I was growing up. I have 5 sisters (and 3 brothers). Two of the girls are 1 year & 3 days apart(!!!) and I think Mom sewed them matching dresses from the same pattern as your dresses.
    May you continue to have those special connections in your days that keep you feeling close to Shannon. xo

  30. judy wilkenfeld Avatar

    Not sure if you got my b’day email (major issues changing over) but i wanted you to know that i was thinking about you and your sis.
    Now its a belated birthday message.
    Happy days
    xo

  31. Marion Avatar

    Belated congrats – I didn´t know before that we´re the same age …

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